Change. Some of us fear it. Many of us crave it, in fact most of us do at some point in our lives. This very fact signifies a glimmer of recognition, somewhere inside us, that something in our life isn’t working anymore. We may not know what that ‘something’ is. We may be very clear about what needs changing.
It might be anything from our work, our relationships, living arrangements, study … it might be anything at all that stirs us deep inside to want something different. However, for many people it can be difficult reaching the realisation that something isn’t working in our lives, let alone realising transformation is needed.
WHAT MIGHT WORK AND WHAT WON’T LAST
Acknowledging we need or desire change is one thing. Actioning it is another thing entirely. It is something we need take responsibility for ourselves and to be respectful of those around us as we do so.
Some methods simply won’t work to help your life flourish. For example, expecting someone else to take control and provide answers, or offer up solutions from their perspective, is probably helpful to inspire your transformation, but it isn’t the be all and end all of your ultimate journey.
Likewise, expecting others to change simply because life isn’t OK for you won’t work either. Neither will expecting others around you to change just because you’ve decided change is needed. We need to take control of our own journey of change.
There is one seemingly small yet significant hurdle we all must come to terms with before change can actually be a significant, lasting, part of our lives. We have to be willing, but we also have to be willing to accept full responsibility for actioning it.
Insight, self-realisation and self-actualisation are all wonderful concepts, but in the final wash up we must take responsibility and willingly move to action if we want real and lasting transformation. Thoughts and ideas are not change, neither are they action. Well intended as they are, ideas and thoughts reduce the word ‘action’ to concepts – and concepts aren’t action.
Moving ourselves toward support for this change is a starting point. That’s exactly what this particular action is – a beginning point. Be it support from a friend, counsellor, like-minded group … wherever you decide to land it’s the first step. Many people, including counsellors and therapists, consider that this initial step is the end point for change. It isn’t!
We can spend years going to counselling/therapy, sharing with others in group settings, bemoaning to friends and family yet until we act on our need for change, nothing will really change at all – at least nothing that is lasting.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHANGE JOURNEY
While self insight supports our process, each and every one of us who truly desires transformation must summon the courage to take full responsibility for our lives. Relying on another, or others, to alter or fix us is firmly placing the responsibility outside ourselves. Blaming someone else for the problems in our lives is also refusal to accept responsibility for ourselves. Lasting change cannot, and will not, happen this way.
So the truth is it’s not really a small hurdle or step that needs to be taken at all. It’s a leap of faith in our search for fullness and satisfaction in our own lives.
TIME FRAMES FOR CHANGE?
How long does change take? There’s no one clear answer to this. It’s you who wants change and that can take years for some and not very long for others. The journey is personal and individual.
Beginning steps toward lasting change may be:
- acknowledging something needs to differ (no small task for some us);
- desire for it- rather than accept an unsatisfactory status quo;
- willingness – how badly do you want it;
- full responsibility for self in the process;
- sifting and sorting through what you really want, what you need and what actually needs to change; and
- actioning your decisions.
If you are struggling to make a start, please feel free to get in touch. I am available by ZOOM or phone contact during COVID-19 restrictions and face to face at regular times.